Make new habits by associating unwanted ones with pain and desired ones with pleasure.
Once you make yourself aware of this dynamic, you can begin to use it to your advantage. So, if you want to break a particular habit, an effective method for doing so is to associate that behavior with pain.It’s crucial that you find a new, more desirable habit that gives you an equal amount of pleasure to the old one. This could be a healthier treat, such as your favorite fruit, or an activity, like a new sport.
To change who you are, change your beliefs.
A belief is an idea that’s supported by evidence. You might, for example, have the idea that you’re an excellent chess player. But that idea will become a belief only if it’s supported by certain evidence, for example, you win the majority of the time.
But we don’t have to think that way: if we manage to interpret the reference more positively, we can direct our lives in a more optimistic way. So, if you’re grieving, you could use that experience as a resource to make you stronger as a person. Perhaps you’ll even emerge from the grieving period with a strong desire to help others in mourning.As this suggests, to bring about a change in your life, you must first change your beliefs. To change an existing belief, you need to associate pain with the old one and pleasure with the new.
Changing your vocabulary can transform your attitudes and emotions.
It’s therefore crucial that you pay close attention to the words you use in your daily life, as they will shape your thinking and perception.To think differently about a situation, you need to describe it differently.
The secret is to use strong words for positive emotions and less intense words for negative ones. For example, instead of saying that you’re “happy,” you could use the stronger description, “totally blissed.” Or, if you’re on the verge of experiencing intense negative emotions, you should describe your experience with words and phrases that are less intense, such as “I’m a little concerned” instead of “I’m extremely anxious.”
Discover your own life values to find out if you’re living up to your full potential.
If you don’t feel fulfilled in your life but don’t know exactly why that is, it could be that you’re not living in accordance with your beliefs.
If you can’t decide, the reason is that you’re uncertain of your values. In this particular case, to make a decision that will bring you happiness you first need to find out whether personal growth is more important to you than financial security.
The solution here is to change your values. You could decide that, from now on, you should prioritize your health over your passion. By putting health first you will be able to be passionate without the drawbacks.
Come up with life rules that make you happy, and tell others about them.
Therefore, it’s important to establish life rules that you can control. It’s crucial that you communicate your rules and ensure that others know what’s important to you. Because many of our rules are dependent on other people’s actions, we’re likely to get frustrated or upset when those people act in a way that doesn’t fit with our rules. In fact, if you’re upset with someone, that’s because that person is unconsciously challenging your rules.
By understanding what’s behind your emotions, you can gain control over them.
All emotions can help you to enact positive change in your life, as they indicate that something’s not quite right, prompting you to examine them to find the true cause of your difficulties. Only by identifying that cause can you begin to change.
Understanding the cause of a particular emotion is just the first step. The next step is a bigger challenge: you have to take action to deal with the emotion and change whatever it is that’s causing it.
Contribute to society to discover what you can accomplish as an individual.
Imagine you’re at the grocery store and you notice a fellow shopper who appears sad. Instead of minding your own business, you could pay him a genuine compliment. Perhaps you could tell him that you admire him for choosing to buy free range eggs. And perhaps if you go through the world smiling at the people you meet, there’s a chance that you’ll lift their mood, which they can then share with others as well!