Category Archives: Mindset

7 Dangerous words that ruin your life and Success

Learning from Dan Lok 

“I know that” or “I might have heard it before”

The minute you know it, your brain shuts down and you are not learning anything.  And in behind that’s your ego prevent you from learning it. 

If you don’t live it, you don’t know it. Implement and execution are the way to make it that you really know it.

 Instead of saying it : I know that , say “ I use that !”

“I can’t afford it.” 

“ I want to take that vacation, but I can’t afford it.

That’s a poor person mindset.

No creativity required the moment you say these.

Instead of say it “I can’t afford it!” , say “ How can I afford it?” “What do I need to do” “ How can I make it make me money?”

Insights of Focus

Focus

What is in it for me? Focus, focus, focus.
You’ll find out why the best quality for a leader is not the ability to keep their eyes on the prize, but actually self-awareness or empathy.

Attention is the key to high performance in a world of endless distractions.

However, the distractions that engulf us not only threaten to waste our time and reduce our productivity, they also diminish our ability to immerse ourselves in a subject, reducing our chances of reaching a state of flow and thus learning and discovering new things.

So if we can develop our ability to ignore distractions and focus well, we can help to increase our performance, and enable ourselves to have more profound reflections and deeper insights.

Life “on automatic” diminishes our experience of the present moment.

The bottom-up mind, responsible for our automatic and routine mental activity, is very fast, driven by our emotions, and impulsive. In contrast, the top-down mind, in charge of planning, reflection and learning new skills, is slower and requires voluntary attention and self-control.

All types of attention are valuable; open awareness is vital for creative breakthroughs.

This is because allowing our minds to wander provides fertile ground for serendipitous insights.

Great leadership hinges on effectively capturing and directing the attention of a collective.

We’ve all heard tales of bosses who are very critical of employees and seem to enjoy pushing them past their natural limits. This attitude creates a toxic atmosphere as their narrow focus on the “prize” blinds them to how they’re affecting the people around them.Now consider a leader that pays attention to her team, praises their small wins, and often admits that there are tasks that she herself couldn’t perform.

Such a leader has self-awareness – she knows her own limitations and is able to assemble a strong team that will compensate for such gaps. She trusts in the abilities of others and allows them to do their job in their own way.

A great vision is central to any strong business plan, but bringing such a vision to reality requires a brilliant leader who is able to communicate it clearly to others and convince them it’s a worthwhile cause.

Inspiring leaders look beyond their own comfort and are motivated to help other people to become successful.

This is a classic case of what can happen when a leader can’t see how their actions affect others and what kind of reactions they generate. To be able to anticipate how others react to your actions, you need to first understand how they see you and this demands self-awareness on your part.

Successful leaders are aware of the larger context in which they operate.
To avoid being blindsided by the competition, leaders should devote much of their attention to exploring new opportunities for development

Meditation will help you focus on one thing and keep track of your attention span.

The key to training your attention is being able to maintain an awareness of your own mental processes – like noticing when your mind starts to drift away from the object of focus. This is called meta-awareness.
The main thing is that you’re aware of the wandering and that you refocus your attention onto your breath and keep it there.

As with practicing meta-awareness, meditation helps us to recognize when our minds begin to wander and strengthens our ability to focus on what’s important.
In these moments, practicing meta-awareness enables you to notice that you’re anxious and to take certain steps to calm yourself down – for example, taking a slow, deep breath – before continuing with the test.

Think happy thoughts: positive thinking is vital for sustaining motivation and achieving goals.

Another reason for the positive effect of a good mood is that our focus shapes our reality and this has important consequences for the way we handle big challenges.

Feeling positive opens our minds to experiencing new things and meeting new people. If you’ve ever thought about moving to a different city or country you’ll know that it’s a scary step to take. But a positive person who has a cheerful disposition will view it as an adventure full of exciting possibilities, as positive thinking enables that person to focus on the new experiences that being in a new city presents and thus to actually embrace the inevitable changes and deal better with setbacks.

Insights from Awaken the Giant Within -Tony Robbin

Make new habits by associating unwanted ones with pain and desired ones with pleasure.

Once you make yourself aware of this dynamic, you can begin to use it to your advantage. So, if you want to break a particular habit, an effective method for doing so is to associate that behavior with pain.It’s crucial that you find a new, more desirable habit that gives you an equal amount of pleasure to the old one. This could be a healthier treat, such as your favorite fruit, or an activity, like a new sport.

To change who you are, change your beliefs.

A belief is an idea that’s supported by evidence. You might, for example, have the idea that you’re an excellent chess player. But that idea will become a belief only if it’s supported by certain evidence, for example, you win the majority of the time.

But we don’t have to think that way: if we manage to interpret the reference more positively, we can direct our lives in a more optimistic way. So, if you’re grieving, you could use that experience as a resource to make you stronger as a person. Perhaps you’ll even emerge from the grieving period with a strong desire to help others in mourning.As this suggests, to bring about a change in your life, you must first change your beliefs. To change an existing belief, you need to associate pain with the old one and pleasure with the new.

Changing your vocabulary can transform your attitudes and emotions.

It’s therefore crucial that you pay close attention to the words you use in your daily life, as they will shape your thinking and perception.To think differently about a situation, you need to describe it differently.

The secret is to use strong words for positive emotions and less intense words for negative ones. For example, instead of saying that you’re “happy,” you could use the stronger description, “totally blissed.” Or, if you’re on the verge of experiencing intense negative emotions, you should describe your experience with words and phrases that are less intense, such as “I’m a little concerned” instead of “I’m extremely anxious.”

Discover your own life values to find out if you’re living up to your full potential.

If you don’t feel fulfilled in your life but don’t know exactly why that is, it could be that you’re not living in accordance with your beliefs.

If you can’t decide, the reason is that you’re uncertain of your values. In this particular case, to make a decision that will bring you happiness you first need to find out whether personal growth is more important to you than financial security.

The solution here is to change your values. You could decide that, from now on, you should prioritize your health over your passion. By putting health first you will be able to be passionate without the drawbacks.

Come up with life rules that make you happy, and tell others about them.

Therefore, it’s important to establish life rules that you can control. It’s crucial that you communicate your rules and ensure that others know what’s important to you. Because many of our rules are dependent on other people’s actions, we’re likely to get frustrated or upset when those people act in a way that doesn’t fit with our rules. In fact, if you’re upset with someone, that’s because that person is unconsciously challenging your rules.

By understanding what’s behind your emotions, you can gain control over them.

All emotions can help you to enact positive change in your life, as they indicate that something’s not quite right, prompting you to examine them to find the true cause of your difficulties. Only by identifying that cause can you begin to change.

Understanding the cause of a particular emotion is just the first step. The next step is a bigger challenge: you have to take action to deal with the emotion and change whatever it is that’s causing it.

Contribute to society to discover what you can accomplish as an individual.

Imagine you’re at the grocery store and you notice a fellow shopper who appears sad. Instead of minding your own business, you could pay him a genuine compliment. Perhaps you could tell him that you admire him for choosing to buy free range eggs. And perhaps if you go through the world smiling at the people you meet, there’s a chance that you’ll lift their mood, which they can then share with others as well!

Proof 5 simple steps to break any old habit

Dear anyone who is struggling with old habits:

Supporting you with lots of love here, I understand how hard it feels to quit old habits like smoking , eating disorder, drinking problem…..
And when all your friends and family members they seems never really understand your real struggle and try to recommend you some kind of methods that never really help because they never experience the same problem… …

Over past decades I suffered with different bad habits, the longest one last for more than 20 years

I believe if you are truly ready, you will always be able to break your old habits.

I suffered from this old habit since I was 9 years old. I still remember that first day when I was hanging on my bed, my head was upside down and I started to pull my first hair…

Over 20 years I struggled with this hair-pulling disorder through every exams, every stress out moment. I even tried some methods that my friends/ my family suggested but they are not really helpful a lists like squeezing a soft ball ,pulling doll hair…, I even prayed for not pulling hair.

Until last year one day I am ready get help.

I did some online research and its called :

Trichotillomania, a mental disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.

I went through different clinic websites that tell you doing a list of things that suggested getting supported , exercise , meditation doesn’t seem to work as a practical plan,

Until I visited one personal blog that the writer is also struggling with the same problem, I simply followed some of her ways that proof working . Today I am proud to announced that I successfully healed from this mental disorder, I wanted to share with you the exact Pathways that would work.

Most of the bad habits are related to mental disorder, if this is a mental problem, you need to treat it mentally. And in the past you are not so sure about if you can do it successfully. I have tried a lots of different methods until I found the below pathways works.

1. Identify the triggers (must do)
You must be able to identify this 3Ws : When ,Where, How , the more clear the better the results.

When do you usually do this?
Where is the spot that you do this the most? ( It could be on the bed, Bathroom…)
How do you usually do it?Picture yourself: which hand ? Which fingers you are performing it? what are the gesture you are. How did you hold that glass of wine? How did you hold that cigarette ? How did you pull off the hair?

2. Look into the mirror with a deep visualisation and remember it (must)
Spend a good amount of time facing the mirror until you have this clarity, visualise your new appearance 1 year from now after quitting the habit as a complete healthy person.
How will you look like when you don’t have this habit? How will your hair look like? How will your skin tone like? How will your teeth look like?
Every time you want to pull hair, recall your healthy beautiful appearance …

This is the most effective step among all , every time I have an urge to fall back into the action.

3. Rewrite the habit by creating a real pain / trouble for completing the habit once the first time. ( not a must but also pretty effective right after your visualisation )

The reason that makes it so hard to quit is some kind of pleasure is formed within the habit. However if you realise that habit actually cos you pain or inconvenient instantly. That can rewrite the way you think about that habit.

Lets say you have a hair-pulling disorder, you could put extra lotion on your hand and then try to pull your hair.

I still remembered I had 1-2 year of smoking habit but I was blessed at that time that I developed ear allergy problem related to smoking, every afternoon I wanted to scratch my ears off so badly and later on I search on internet and notice this itchness related to smoking, so very quickly I could quit smoking without much effort because smoking causes real pain instantly.

If you have a drinking habit try adding tones of salt in a super diluted alcohol aiming at making it so disgusting salty to rewire your brain that alcohol tastes disgusting.

4. Draw a monthly Calendar on 1 single piece of paper on the spot that triggers your habit . ( must)
Every time you want to do this again you will see the calendar right next to it reminding yourself. You put a star when the day you did’t do it. By the end of calendar reward yourself with something. Do it at least 2 rounds of the paper ( which costs at most two months.

5. Build a new good habit that gives you a sense of relaxation. ( not a must but its helpful for a new form of pleasure in general )

It could be a form of exercise. Like Running, Cycling, jogging, Boxing… Any type of exercise that you could build up the habits. Through these exercises you achieve a prolonged relaxation in a long term. Like any kind of Good/ or bad habits ,to develop it , you start from small.

Make it easily achievable in the beginning. Take running as an example
I was starting from 5mph ( which is a super slow speed fo Jogging), you will be able to set up a progress through weeks and months.

My Proven 5-step method to break any old habit

A lot of people are struggling with different types of old habits:

Supporting you with lots of love here, I understand how hard it feels to quit old habits like smoking , eating disorder, drinking problem…..
Most likely, all your friends and family members never really seem to understand what you feel and are very judgemental. They unsuccessfully try to talk you through, changing those habits,

Over past decades I suffered with different bad habits, the longest one lasted for more than 20 years

You’ll be able to break through your old habits, only if your true self is ready. 

I remember back when I was 9 years old, I was laying on my bed, face down, my legs and my chest flat on the mattress, and I started to pull my first hair.

I struggled for 20 years with this hair-pulling disorder. Especially when facing stressful periods of my life like exams, arguments, work etc. I tried some methods that my friends/ my family suggested like squeezing a soft ball ,pulling doll hair…however those methods were inefficient,I was praying hoping that this habit will go away.

When I realized I was ready to quit this habit

I had an opportunity to work on this issue with therapist who kindly offered her help out of friendship since she had helped somebody with this. I remember thinking then “if she helped someone when the same issue, then it can be fixed” and I started browsing solutions on google.

Trichotillomania, a mental disorder that involves recurrent, irresistible urges to pull out hair from your scalp, eyebrows or other areas of your body, despite trying to stop.

I went through different clinic’s website. They suggested a bunch of exercises that weren’t working for me.

Until one day, an article caught my attention. It was written by a blogger struggling with the same habit. She had tried different methods, some of which turned out to be working for her and so I started implementing some of these technics.

Today I am proud to announce that I successfully healed from this mental disorder and I want to share with you the 5 steps system that can help you break free from your bad habits and become the confident person you deserve to be.

Most of these habits started from an emotional pain. In order to fix them, you first have to analyse what triggered it:

1. Identify the triggers (must do)
You must be able to identify this : When ,Where, How , the more clear the better the results.

When do you usually do this?
Where is the place that you do it the most? ( It could be on the bed, Bathroom…)
How do you usually do it? Picture yourself: which hand ? Which fingers are you using? What is your posture. How do you hold that glass of wine? How do you hold that cigarette ? How do you pull off your hair?

2. Look into the mirror with a deep visualisation and remember it (must)
Spend a good amount of time facing the mirror until you have this clarity, visualise your new appearance 1 year from now after quitting the habit as a complete healthy person.
How will you look like after you got rid of this habit? How will your hair look like? How will your skin tone like? How will your teeth look like?
Every time you want to pull hair, recall your healthy beautiful appearance …

This is the most effective step amongst all , every time I have an urge.

3. Break the pattern (pretty effective right after your visualisation )

You need to understand that they are two type of pleasures. Our brain is constructed in such way that its main priority is survival. In order for us to survive, our brain steers us towards two path:
Avoiding shot-term pain -> chasing short-term pleasure:

If you are aiming to solve your problem, you are looking for a long term satisfaction. Unfortunately for you, the brain has this tendency of influencing towards you reptilian thinking The reason that makes it so hard to quit is some kind of pleasure is formed within the habit. However if you realise that habit actually cos you pain or inconvenient instantly. That can rewrite the way you think about that habit.

Lets say you have a hair-pulling disorder, you could put extra lotion on your hand and then try to pull your hair.

I still remembered I had 1-2 year of smoking habit but I was blessed at that time that I developed ear allergy problem related to smoking, every afternoon I wanted to scratch my ears off so badly and later on I search on internet and notice this itchness related to smoking, so very quickly I could quit smoking without much effort because smoking causes real pain instantly.

If you have a drinking habit try adding tones of salt in a super diluted alcohol aiming at making it so disgusting salty to rewire your brain that alcohol tastes disgusting.

 

4. Draw a monthly Calendar on 1 single piece of paper on the spot that triggers your habit . ( must)
Every time you want to do this again you will see the calendar right next to it reminding yourself. You put a star when the day you did’t do it. By the end of calendar reward yourself with something. Do it at least 2 rounds of the paper ( which costs at most two months.

5. Build a new good habit that gives you a sense of relaxation. ( not a must but its helpful for a new form of pleasure in general )

It could be a form of exercise. Like Running, Cycling, jogging, Boxing… Any type of exercise that you could build up the habits. Through these exercises you achieve a prolonged relaxation in a long term. Like any kind of Good/ or bad habits ,to develop it , you start from small.

Make it easily achievable in the beginning. Take running as an example
I was starting from 5mph ( which is a super slow speed fo Jogging), you will be able to set up a progress through weeks and months.

Learning from Thrive

Find wisdom by learning from your own experiences and listening to your intuition.

Wisdom isn’t connected to intelligence or knowledge. Rather, wisdom is a mindset – a way of looking at life in a more insightful way, without getting distracted and frustrated by day-to-day wins and losses.

When something unfortunate happens to you, you can choose to tap wisdom from that experience, instead of being crushed by it.

Stop seeking wisdom outside of yourself; instead, turn inward. Take advantage of your experience and listen to your intuition.

Giving back does a lot of good – Helping others would actually also have a positive impact on your performance at work as well. In fact, research shows that people who are more giving in a general sense are also better at their jobs: the most effective salespeople are more likely to help both their customers and their colleagues.

Prioritize your well-being: it will actually support your professional success – not jeopardize it.

In fact, taking care of your well-being will actually improve your productivity. That’s because sleep (a major factor in your well-being, as previously noted) increases your level of productivity multiple times over.

Morning Routine Insight

Try to adapt your routine when you’re traveling rather than abandoning it altogether.
Skimming a few pages in the back of a cab or while sitting in the makeup chair; no matter her surroundings, though, she can’t do without this inspiring and wonderful start to the day.

Children dictate when you wake up, but parenting also has its pleasures.  

Whatever routine you end up choosing, remember that the most important thing is to enjoy your family time once you’re all awake.

Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and you might just be able to dispense with your alarm.

That was the moment Arianna Huffington decided to make some much-needed changes to her lifestyle. Today, she tries to always get eight hours of sleep, and, in order to achieve that target, heads bedward at 11:00 every night. In fact, she manages her sleep so well now that she doesn’t even need an alarm.

You can start preparing your morning routine the evening before.

Every evening, he lays out the clothes he plans on wearing the next day, which makes his mornings a whole lot less complicated.

Thinking about what she can be proud of or grateful for helps her unwind and clear her mind. Once she’s done that, she falls asleep in the blink of an eye.

Give yourself a little me time before jumping into work and everyday responsibilities.

Taking a moment to focus on anything that you value can boost your creative output.

Some of your best work will be done in the morning, so give yourself time to see to it before tackling other tasks.

Responding to emails is, after all, reactive, whereas your morning activities should be proactive. It’s the time to take care of your own needs and schedule your day.

The wife of noble character

A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She is like the merchants ships, bringing her food from afar.

She gets up while it is still night; She provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earning she plants a vineyard.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land .

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laughs at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread if idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her;

“Many women do noble things but you surpass them all. “

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting;

But a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

Honor her for all that her hands have done , and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31

How laws of attraction works

Things I learn from Dan Lok.
————————————————————

  1. Confirmation Bias.( We seek information which confirms what we already believe.)
  2. Notice things but don’t pay attention to it.
  3. It ’s the world inside of you influence the things happens.
  4. If you plant rose, you grow rose. If you don’t plant anything , weeds grow.
    Meaning that, If you don’t constantly feed your mind with positive, motivation, inspiration something constantly move you to your goals, you will be feed with all those negativity such as news, fears etc.
  5. Careful for protecting your filter (Be Careful about how you view the world and how you upgrade your filter).
  6. You need to see yourself being that person before you will get the results.